Your plastic personality
What do you wish you were more of? What human quality do you wish you expressed more? What do you want to exude to others? What about others impresses you? Look at your heroes. Who are they? Why are they heroes to you? List their positive qualities, even their faults. What’s their angle, their approach, to life? What do they do — or do Not do — that impresses you?
We all want to be more like our heroes in daily life, and to take more heroic actions. What would a hero do in this situation? Start with one quality they possess. Work on that. Make it a goal to become more of that, to exude that, to be that more often. Remember: our personalities are not fixed. They are plastic. You can mold yours to your liking. You are not the same person you were 10 years ago. While you possess a lot of the same qualities you had 10 years ago, you’ve changed. You’re morphed and evolved throughout the years depending upon your beliefs, your experiences, and your actions. There is an enormous difference between who you were at 20 vs. who are at 40. Hopefully, you’ve improved where you want to, and make strides for further development in areas of future growth. Don’t believe in the false notion of fixed personality. You’re changing every day whether you realize it or not.
If you’re missing an attribute that you want to possess, simply start acting that way. If you want to be more outgoing, start being more outgoing. If you want to be tougher, start acting tougher and doing harder things. If you want to be better around strangers, start trying to improve around strangers and building rapport early. We often only complain about lacking a quality and thinking there’s nothing we can do about it when we can take immediate action to being that thing we’re missing. What someone can do, another can do. Simple. Better, find people who already exude the qualities you seek and hang around them as much as possible. We’ll repeat the #1 personal development maxim of all time again: you are the average of the five people you hang around with the most. Try to only hang around with people who bring up your average. What are you missing in your repertoire? Start acting like you already have that thing, and find people who are already great at it.
One of the qualities that people find missing in their personal development repertoire is self-belief. They don’t believe in themselves enough to think they can do something, like start a business, a side hustle, or go for that next level in their career. This is particularly pernicious because without the that strong sense of self belief, we won’t take action. We are stymied. We feel stuck where we are. Out of all the beliefs we hold deeply, self-belief is the one that is vital. Do we think we can do it? Will we hold ourselves accountable? Much of self-belief is a belief in one’s ability to figure things out, the essence of self-confidence. How often do you say, “I believe in my ability to figure things out.” It is a strong statement of personal confidence. You show a willingness to do something even though you may not currently possess the ability to do it. Nevertheless, you’re not afraid of it. You take on challenges despite not having all the tools to get the job done. These are impressive qualities. These are leadership qualities. People who state these things possess a strong sense of self-belief. And like all human qualities you may lack, starting to act as if gets you on the correct path to acquiring those you desire to have.
