Our personality is up to us. You get to choose how you wish to be.
Personality is not fixed. We’re not the same person at 40 that we were at 20. We don’t have the same demeanor. We don’t act the same way. We don’t treat ourselves the same between these two ages. The manner we treat others changes as well, for the better. Look at how much learning and growing potential there is over that 20 year span! How can you possibly be the same person 20 years later? You’ve vastly changed. Your preferences changed. Your experiences changed you. The people you’ve met have changed you and influenced you. The various jobs you’ve head in 20 years have changed you.
Personality is fluid. It isn’t fixed. It evolves along side of you. While what we stand for typically doesn’t change much, who we are changes. Each new experience changes us slightly. Travel changes us. Culture changes us. Work changes us. Hobbies change us. Learning new skills changes us. Our friends change us. Our parents change us. Mentors change us. Siblings change us. Bosses change us. Look at all these people who change us! They all have an impact on who we are and what we will become. They all have a stake in our evolution. How can personality possibly be fixed when all these different people and experiences shape it and, as a result, us? It can’t be. Personality is fluid and malleable.
The fact that personality is malleable should be exciting to people. The fact that personality is fluid means that if there is a trait you want that you do not personally possess, it is learnable! You can learn how to get or be that thing you want. You can develop it. Want to become a great public speaker but you’re currently shy and reserved? You can take courses and practice and get to where you want to be. Want to become funnier and make your friends and colleagues laugh all the time? You can work on your comedy and hang around funny people in order to become funnier. Want to get good at golf? You can work hard, take lessons, practice, practice, practice and get better. You’ll eventually get good. Everyone can get good at golf just like everyone can get good at public speaking. What if you’re more of an introvert and desire to be more like your outgoing friends who are more extroverted? Yep, you can learn from them, too. You can develop new social skill sets and take an active interest in others in order to be seen and felt as extroverted. All totally learnable — for anyone. This is how exciting a fluid personality is. You can learn how to be anyone you want to be. You shape you. You get to decide which skillsets you want to develop. You decide who you want to become and then take daily action to get there.
Our personality is up to us. It is our responsibility to decide who we wish to be and then pursue it. How will we choose to show up? Who needs our ‘A’ game? Do I currently possess the skills I’ll need to become the person I want to become? There can be no feeling sorry for yourself for not having the right skills or attitude or soft skill because it is all developable. You can become it if you so desire. It begins with the correct core beliefs. Once you have the correct core beliefs and believe that you can develop any skillset you choose, you’re on your way. Beliefs build the foundation. You can be that thing if you believe you can, even if you’ve never had it before. This is liberating for all who believe it. Whatever trait you want, you can go get it. Personality is fluid.
The fact that your personality is up to you is exciting. You choose how you wish to be. You choose What areas of your life you desire to focus on and improve. You choose where you want to go and which direction is the right one for you. We choose our demeanor and how we wish to act within any given context. We can choose to be funny. We can choose to be outgoing. We can choose to be social. We can choose to wake up and write. All of this is developable if we believe it is.