Life’s Big Three require this when it comes to healthy relationships.
The Big Three in everyone’s life, Health, Wealth, and Relationships, are always in flux. It is best to always try to balance them all as much as possible. One may be off the charts great while the two others are at the 20% level. Or, you may have two of the Big Three really firing on all cylinders in your life, but you have one category that is just hurting you tremendously. Like, you can’t stop thinking about it. Like, you feel it affects everything going on in your life. Whatever it is, you’ve got to have the courage and the Chutzpah to face it and deal with it or else it’ll just get worse.
As humans, we do a great job of digging ourselves holes in which we choose to dwell for awhile. These are almost always related to the Big Three. One of these may be bugging the hell out of you right now. If so, I have great advice for you that most high performers completely struggle with: ask for help. Seek assistance. Talk it out with someone you trust. As top performers, we’re used to solving our own problems, feeling like we don’t need anyone else. We’re good. We’ve done this before, and we can do it again. We have a proven track record. But what if we’re in over our head? What if we’ve pushed something too far? What if the neglect has gotten completely out of hand? What if we’ve done nothing to stop the hurt and it just persists like an open wound? We must get help.
Please get this: there is nothing wrong with asking for help. You cannot do it all by yourself all the time. No one can. No one makes it to the top of the mountain alone. No one becomes a great success alone. Everyone has some sort of help. Stop thinking that you can do it all by yourself. It’s silly and unfounded. This is not about being great. This is about humility. Humility is an underrated leadership quality. It showcases that you don’t have all the answers. It shows that you’re willing to be wrong. And ironically it shows others that you aren’t bulletproof, that you have chinks in your armor, which makes them like you even more. If you seek to be more likable, develop humility.
We all go through tough times in relationships, finances, and health. All of us. No matter what you’re going through right now, I promise that people can relate and they will not hate on you for it. But neglecting it further and not taking action to seek help to mitigate the damage is foolish. Especially if you cannot think of a way out on your own. While I love, “If it’s got to be, it’s got to be me” as much as the next entrepreneur, if you’ve got a problem that you need help solving and cannot seem to do it on your own, get out there and ask for help. Widen your options. Take them all under consideration. Triangulate the problem from multiple perspectives. Then, decide and execute. This is getting out of that damn hole you’ve dug for yourself and getting back to see the light and the possible. You can do this. You already have a proven track record of success. This one will simply add to your compelling story.
While it is arguable, the best one to start with of the Big Three is health. Because without health, you haven’t got much. With bad health, you greatly inhibit your ability to earn. With bad health, your relationships will suffer because you cannot give equally or more than you usually do. With bad health, you’re a fraction of what you normally are. Get health right first. Always focus on that aspect right now. Prioritize it every day. Choose to make Health #1. There is always time for your own personal health and well-being. Remember: if you don’t have 30 minutes for your own health a day, you don’t have a life. Respect your life and get on the path to health.
A very close #2 are your relationships. As humans, relationships are damn near everything. When most everything else in your life is going to shit, if you have great relationships in tact, you’ve got a lot going for you. One of the greatest indicators of a healthy and rich life are rich, fulfilling relationships. Who we know and who knows us gives us real emotional connection. He without good human relationships has little in life, just like the selfish life is not worth living. Our relationships tie us, bind us, give us tribes to belong to, give us a sense of something larger than ourselves, make us do things well beyond what we would normally do. Without them, we feel lost, unfulfilled, even empty inside. Giving to healthy relationships is one of the best, most fulfilling things we can do as humans. This is why creating and sharing what you know is so important. We all have so much to give if we simply realize it and execute on it.
Do not underestimate the power of the tribe. You’re a member of various tribes today and you probably don’t even realize it. You’re a member of the family tribe. You’re a member of your organizational tribe. You’re a member of your church tribe. You’re a member of your local tribes. You’re a member of your favorite brands’ tribes. You’re a member of your college’s alumni tribe, a powerful member with strong ties to it. These tribal affiliations are all symbols with deep meaning to their constituencies. These are people who take great pride in belonging here. There is fulfillment here. There is happiness and enjoyment here. There is collective power here, the power to include and to exclude, to create an us vs. them dynamic. Thousands of years ago, to be excluded or banned from the tribe meant near certain death. People bound together in order to survive and thrive. This is one of the reasons why being excluded, not picked, or ignored hurts so much. It is bad for your mental and physical health. We’re built to belong, to be included, and to share with the tribe.
And then wealth. . . People mistakenly place wealth creation as #1, and that is a consistent problem. Please make no mistake: wealth is important. It just shouldn’t come before your health or your relationships. In fact, it really cannot because wealth is created by health and relationships. Wealth is the byproduct of helping other people get whatever it is they want enough times. It comes from adding significant value to people. And it is built up over time. Nearly everyone dreams of paths to quick wealth, but they’re all illusory. Wealth creation is a marathon, and many people pass out on the path to the finish line. Worse, you may not realize you’ve achieved it. How will you know when you’re successful? What are your metrics for success? What will you do when you’ve arrived? Keep going? Keep striving? Further, how did you get it? The How is important because wealth without health or relationships is poverty. Just like wealth unshared. Wealth with wrecked health is a curse.
Health is either #1 or it isn’t. Relationships are either nearly everything to you or they aren’t. Wealth is predicated upon both good health and great relationships. What is your top priority? Which one gets the most of your attention? How well balanced are you in your daily life between the Big Three? If one of these categories is hurting you right now, what are you doing about it? What specific actions are you taking to make things better? Well executed action makes things better. Reflect, decide and take the appropriate action.