Do you know who you are? Really?

Jeffrey Bonkiewicz
3 min readSep 3, 2019

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Do you know who you are? Really? Personality is fluid, not fixed. Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

Our personalities are not fixed. They are fluid. We are far different people today than we were ten years ago. Our personality has shifted and evolved. We are into different things. Our tastes have changed. We may have revolutionized what we eat. We may have a completely different work-out regimen from the one we did ten years ago. Most all of us have shifted our environments from the ones we were in ten years ago. Since these shifts happen, they affect us in positive and negative ways even if we’re not conscious of them.

Choose to be a creative person. Creativity starts with belief. You have to believe you are creative first before you can manifest it. So, choose to believe it. Why set yourself up for failure before you’ve even done any of the work? All human qualities require belief before they manifest in us. Choose creativity. Choose connection. Choose openness. These are what you really want. These are the properties that will set you apart. It is this path that will lead you down the road you desire, the path of problem- solving, adding value, and giving to others.

Environment shapes us. Not the other way around.

Remember that our environment shapes us, not the other way around. We can do our best to choose our environment, but who we are on any given day is largely predicated upon the environment we are in. We act differently in church than we do at the sports bar. We act differently at work than we do at the stadium, cheering on our favorite team. We act differently around our kids than we do when they’re not around. We act differently at the in-laws house than we do at our own parents’ house. See, the environment, the context changes us. Our behavior is domain dependent. Who we are depends on where we’re at. Think you act the same in different environments? Think again.

You are not fixed.

The great news about our fluid personalities is that we can decide who we want to be. We are not fixed. Let’s repeat that because it is really important: we are not fixed personalities. We are fluid. Our personalities move and evolve. We become different people based upon our behaviors and experiences and determination and environments. Who are we setting out to become? Where are we spending the most time? Who are we spending the most time with? How are we behaving? It is these questions that largely determine who will we become.

We really don’t know who we are.

The exciting thing about this is we really don’t know who we are. We only assume we know who we are. For example, a friend drove a Prius for 8 years. She didn’t think much about cars. Didn’t have to. The Prius got great gas mileage and was a practical method of transport. Then, one day she decided to upgrade to a new Alpha Romeo, and suddenly she became a car person. The Alpha was hot, sporty, and fun to drive. This is why people become car people. There is excitement & exhilaration in the Alpha that doesn’t exist within the Prius. A change in context, in environment, changed her completely. Her personality shifted. She was something she didn’t realize she was. Now, count her among the car enthusiasts out there whereas last year she ignored them. A new car experience unleashed the dormant car person within her. She has changed, and her personality along with it.

Some people may be frightened by the statement that we really don’t know who we are. If we’re always changing, always evolving, shedding skin, shedding beliefs that no longer serve us, changing hair styles, moving in and out of social circles, upgrading jobs and skills, researching our family history through DNA testing and being astonished at the results, how can we say we know ourselves for sure? We don’t know what we’re capable of. We don’t know what we’re capable of with personality. And this idea should be exciting! You get to choose and direct your future you. The type of personality you desire to become is up to you. And since your environment so largely comprises who we become, this shaping has to do with the environment you choose to hang out in the most. The choice is 100% yours. What will you do with yours?

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Jeffrey Bonkiewicz
Jeffrey Bonkiewicz

Written by Jeffrey Bonkiewicz

I’m a sales, marketing and tech Pro who creates content designed to help people solve problems and shift perspectives.

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