Do people need to support you and cheer you on for you to pursue your dreams?

Do you think people have to support you and get you and cheer you on in order for you to move forward? A lot of people do. A lot of people think this. Only their support, their cheers, aren’t necessary for you to move forward. Not everyone is going to support you. Not everyone is going to get you. Not everyone is going to cheer you on. What are you going to do with these people? Wait for them to understand you and get you before you move on? Plead with them to support you before you move? Why? They are not necessary for you to move forward. You don’t need everyone’s support. You don’t need people to cheer you on. You need to concentrate only on the people who get you, who understand you, who wish to help you. The rest of the people don’t care about your endeavor. They’ve got their own dreams, their own wishes. In fact, Most people are so wound up inside their own heads that they’re only thinking about themselves and the noise in their heads. They don’t have room for you up there. They don’t even have room to comment on you and what you do. Why worry about them? Why spend any time focused on people who don’t get you?

People don’t need to get you or support you in order for you to pursue your dreams.

You can do this yourself and simply find like-minded others who share similar beliefs and dreams. You do you. Don’t worry so much about what everyone else thinks. A harsh comment got you down? Don’t let it. It won’t matter by the end of the day. It won’t matter in one hour unless you let it matter. Someone else’s criticism making you feel bad about yourself? Why allow it? You’re doing more than they are in pursuit of your dreams and what you want. You won’t get everyone to support you in your new endeavors. Get over it. This is a part of goal and dream pursuit. Your acceptance of this fact will steel you against the forces that try to derail you. You need steeling for your dreams and long-term goals and focus. This steeling or calcifying will enable you to move forward despite the opposition, despite the negative comments, despite the haters. They’re going to be there. Prepare for it. It is like knowing the objections you’re going to get in sales before they come at you and having responses ready to go. You’re already ready. You practiced. You’ve got experience to see them coming. And you have insight to know that their negativity doesn’t matter to you or your dreams. You don’t need their support in your pursuits. You simply need your own tenacity and persistence to go, to move. Fly above the haters and their negativity. Besides, all they really want is attention anyway. Why give them that?

Here’s something that may blow you away for those who think everyone is out to get them or you’re constantly battling negative others in your life: no one is really paying attention to you. Not really. They’ve got their own stuff, their own dreams, their own fears, their own noise in side their head that they have to endure. They’re not focused on you and your stuff all day long. No one is. They’re focused on their stuff, their own material swooshing around inside their head. They have little time for anything else. They really are not focused on you. Stop thinking that they are.

The Spotlight Effect is a psychological phenomenon that states that we think everyone has the spotlight on us, on our stuff, on our work, on what we’re doing next when they really do not. They’re not that concerned about us. They’re not really focused on us. We just think we are.

This should be freeing. You are now free to go about your dreams and create and contribute and share and teach. You are released from the supposed grips and stares of others and can now go do you. See, no one’s really out to get you after all. It turns out that people aren’t that concerned about what you’re doing or how you’re doing it. You’ve got no spotlight on you, so you’re free to about your business of creating. So, go: create. Contribute. Teach others what you know. Claim your distinction. Solve their problems in advance. Market and teach others what you’ve got. Teaching is some of the best selling you can do.

While there is no spotlight on you, it is up to you to market what you’ve got. No one is going to get to know you or your stuff without the proper marketing. You’ve got to create and promote content regularly in order to be found and to get known as a person of value. You want to be known as someone who gives first without expectation of compensation. You want to be known as the industry expert, someone who solves problems regularly and has the answers people seek. You are authentically you, not trying to be someone you’re not. Put the best version of you out there to others. If you’re a jerk or you’re being an authentic jerk, stay in that day. Take an office day or sick day. People don’t want to do business with jerks. People want to do business with people they know, like and trust. Nothing shuts salespeople out like being unlikeable. But if you’re writing great content, if you’re actively adding value and solving a market’s problems, if you’re positioning yourself as the expert in the industry, you’re well on your way to gaining great status within your market. Expert positioning and problem solving is the new sales and marketing. You keep that up and be consistent about it, you will have that spotlight on you we talked about earlier, but it will be from speaking and giving talks due to your expert positioning. Nothing states expert like speaking and giving industry talks and being on panels. Take advantage of these whenever you can. They work to boost your perceived position and expertise. And who doesn’t want their perceived position and expertise boosted? The key is to create and share and give consistently. You are always putting new stuff out there, always being seen ready to serve and to give.



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Jeffrey Bonkiewicz

Jeffrey Bonkiewicz

I’m a sales, marketing and tech Pro who creates content designed to help people solve problems and shift perspectives.