Build your influence with this ironic power everybody possesses.
Somewhere along the line after getting a zillion no’s, many of us stop asking for what we want. We settle. We decide that, “Well, that’s just that. They won’t budge’ and we don’t even try to ask. We’re defeated before we’ve even begun. It becomes a lack of confidence thing.
Confident people ask for what they want. Confident people ask for what they think they’re worth. Confident people make the big ask regularly even knowing no is a possibility. Doesn’t matter — ask anyway because you never know until you ask. Ask and you’ll be surprised at how often you get what you want.
Never be afraid to ask for what you want.
Never be afraid to ask for what you want. You might get a no, but often you’ll get a yes. Everything is negotiable. All contracts. All deals. All salaries and bonuses and benefits. Anything marketable is negotiable. We just don’t think about it.
What we do is make silly assumptions about what people think about what we want. Most all of us do not walk the earth thinking about what other people want. It’s smart to do this, especially if you’re a sales & marketing pro, but , again, most people are way too focused on themselves to think about what others want. The boss isn’t worried about what you want. The boss has her own goals and desires. The spouse, while it would be nice if he thought often about what the other wanted, likely is not. Too self-absorbed. This is why “You should know what I want!” Doesn’t work. No. Doesn’t work that way. No mind reading here. Even in close relationships. The parents, while supportive and close to you, still are not that concerned about what you want. They’re too worried about their status as good parents to be concerned about what you want. They can love you and still not be concerned about what you want. Perhaps this is why you never ask for what it is you want — you feel nobody’s listening to you.
# Speak up and assertively ask.
Only when you speak up and assertively ask will people listen. Turns out that there are a lot of wonderful, helpful people out there all around the world! And they want to help YOU. People rock! (If you believe they do.) Yet they won’t know what to do with you / with what you want until you assertively speak up and ask them. When you speak up and assertively ask someone something, you build your influence. You’re getting things done through others, which is leadership. You are never going to know for sure until you ask. Ask. Ask. Ask.
Did I mention ask?
Asking is at the root of successful sales and marketing. Great marketing starts with a pattern interrupt: a problem stated as a question that enters the mind of the prospect that makes them stop and think. It’s a hook point. It grabs their attention. Then, a great marketer follows up with a compelling story of someone like them who had that problem. The trials they went through. The potential solutions they tried that didn’t work. Until one day, they discovered the solution that did and got the desired results. And now, you can try it, too! It all starts with the “You know how…?” Question. Asking.
Great sales begins and ends with questions. Awesome sales questions are those that stop the prospect, makes them think, and answer in terms of what you want them to do. A great salesperson steers and controls the frame of communication through good questioning. Questions and asking control communication when most people think it’s the opposite: talk, talk talk. Only talk, talk, talking about yourself gets you the door slammed shut in your face.
What customers want is to talk about themselves, their businesses, their problems, and have you help solve them and get to the root of them through good questioning and exchanging ideas. Then, near the end, after the prospect / customer feels heard and is breathing fresh psychological air, you ask them for the deal. Why don’t you give it a try? See? It begins and ends with asking. Only in professional sales and marketing, you’re constantly asking what /they/ want. Ask enough, you see the patterns, you connect the dots, and you generate insights. That’s what all prospects and customers want: answers and insights about them.
# If we’re not afraid to ask professionally for what we want, why are we so scared to ask personally about what we want!?
Because we take no personally. It’s a status and an identity hit. We’d rather do nothing and maintain a mediocre status quo than take action and ask for what we want despite the potential no. But at least we’d know. Wouldn’t you rather know? Then, you can take action to do something about it. We have to have the courage to speak up and to say what we see, asking for what we want. Speak up! Dig deep to find the courage to speak your emotional truth to those closest to you, whatever it is. No one should have to suffer simmering in silence, whether at home or at work. That’s no way to live. And I don’t care how much money you make. Doesn’t matter. This is YOUR LIFE we’re talking about. If you prioritize money ahead of your physical, mental and emotional health in truth, you’re forever hiding and suffering in silence. I realize money is important, only your health is the greatest wealth you’ll ever have.
Asking sets you free.
Asking will set you free both personally and professionally. Ask for what you want with positive anticipation of outcome. Asking for what you want in negotiation will get you your way more often then you think. But you’ll never know for sure until you ask.
Speak up! And say what you see.
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You’re so dedicated to the craft that you miss it. You miss performing. You miss creating. You miss expressing yourself, which is the ultimate creation. Artistic Communication is creation. Of course, you’re going to miss it! You’d be missing out on a key point of influence. You can’t influence without explicit communication to an audience. No. You practice it. You get it down. You go. You repeat. You create.
